The Heart of the Matter (part 4 of 7)

Nothing is more important in our lives as the giving and receiving of love. We love people, animals, and things in our environment. Love encompasses all. It is at the center of our life. Therefore, it makes sense that the heart chakra is in the center of our chakra system. There are three main chakras below it and three above it. I don’t want to say that one is more important than another but the heart is at the center for a reason.

That could be why losing someone we love hurts so much. It can devastate us to the core of our being because that person has become an extension of us. We have become attached to them. When we lose them, it’s like losing an essential part of ourselves.

It’s also important that we love ourselves. This cannot be stressed enough. Not arrogance, but true caring for the self. We must examine ourselves and make sure we feel and express authentic love and compassion for our own selves. In her marvelous book, Eastern Body Western Mind , the author, Anodea Judith  gives a great quote about self-reflection and changing our behavior patterns:

It requires conscious attention to change patterns, to create something new, in short, to evolve. Without examining what has been, we are destined to repeat it. Without cultivating consciousness, our ascending current has to turn around and go back down to the base before it has reached its full expansion. In so doing, we are caught up in repetitive loops, neurotic patterns that we repeat again and again.

Self-examination gives birth to a new integrated Self. This Self is no longer bound by the past, but energized by the will beneath it and headed toward the future. Self-examination is essential for establishing the balance that is the central principle of the heart chakra.

Self-examination leads us on the path toward wholeness. Fear and grief can block our capacity to love. Fear and Grief can block the incoming and outgoing love. However, our grief must be honored. We honor it by expressing it with our words and releasing it through our tears.

Honoring our grief helps us heal. However, it can sometimes be difficult to show compassion toward others when were experiencing a high magnitude of grief in our own life.

Judith explains the importance of compassion very well:

The ability to have compassion for others depends first on our ability to be in touch with our yearning and pain. Pain opens us to deeper understanding of others and expands our own limited being. Thus compassion is an exquisite balance of upper and lower chakra expression. Compassion remains centered, yet open, and it quietly holds the space for change to occur, providing both the stability of a container and the freedom of release.

Healing grief requires a lot of patience with our self and others. It cannot be rushed. It takes time for our system to line back up and become whole. Grief work is an important part of restoring our balance. We need to bring back that part of us that was attached to who we lost.

We need to ask ourselves, what was lost in me when this person died? By answering that question and doing the grief work, we can restore our ability to love and have balance in our life.

I welcome your comments.